Surgery and Solitary Confinement

Every time I sit down to write another post, it always astounds me that another week has flown by. But you know what they say…

Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess.

This past Tuesday was the big day. And was it ever a day. Sarah and Aleah took me to the hospital at 7am and we sat in my room for three and an half hours before they finally came in to take me down to surgery. The short story: Surgery went well. I have a brand new ACL from someone who doesn’t need theirs any more and my meniscus is successfully reattached. Right now, the only concern that the doctor has is that the meniscus won’t take. Since there is such little blood flow in the knee, depending on where it detached, the meniscus might not reattach itself well. He said that the place where the lesion was in my knee wasn’t in a bad spot, but it wasn’t a good spot either. So he’s hoping that it’ll reattach well, but only time will tell. I believe in the God of healing, and I believe that He can cause it to reattach perfectly. That’s my prayer right now, that it would heal up well and quickly. For the time being, I can only put about 30 pounds on my right leg so my crutches are my new best friends. [Insert slow head-shake here.]

I hate crutches.

With a passion.

But apparently, they’re a necessary evil at this point in life. Thankfully, I’ll only need them for 4 weeks. By then, they tell me I’ll  be back to pretty much normal. I can’t freaking wait. But I will. I’ll be as patient as I can be, but that isn’t very much. I like to push myself and push the limits. So it’s going to take a lot of self-control to let this healing process thing happen at its own pace, and not at mine.

I stayed in the hospital for two days after surgery and was finally back on the base on Thursday. That was the best day all week. I’m really not into the whole solitary confinement thing, and even though friends would come visit when they could, that really didn’t take up a huge chunk of the days. So there was a lot of alone time. And I missed everyone so much. Over the past 6 weeks, these people have totally just crawled into my heart and become family. It was just strange not to see everyone every day and so coming back was easily the highlight of the week.

Since I was in the hospital for half of the week, I missed out on most of the lectures. But the few that I got to sit in on were great. Friday morning, the first lecture block was spent just doing business with God. Femi Oni (our speaker) told us that God wasn’t letting him teach, but that we needed to do something different instead. While everyone else was out of the classroom doing their business with God, I just sat there and talked to God. And I realized something. I had been holding a grudge against God. Right after my accident, I immediately started asking God to heal me. And for the first couple of days, I really thought He would. And I kept waiting… and waiting… and waiting… but nothing really happened. Yes, I did get better. My physio told me more than once that I was doing great for what my injury was. So God most definitely was in that and working through that. But I wanted to be completely healed. And He still hasn’t done that yet. And on Friday I finally realized that I was holding a grudge against God for that. And let’s be real. That’s ridiculous.

I mean, God is freaking God! He does what He wants! Obviously, He loves us and wants us to be happy, but sometimes He doesn’t do what we want Him to. And that’s ok. That’s where trust has to come in. We have to just take it on faith that God knows what He’s doing and that He has the bigger picture in mind. I’m just ready to be used and see Him work in my life. And if that means that He’ll heal me completely in a couple of hours, great. If it means that I’ll have a perfectly normal healing process and come out of this completely normal, great. When it comes right down to it, He’s got it. He knows what He’s doing. And I trust that. He’s a good Dad. He’s a good God. He’s got it.

In closing….:) I want to thank everyone for their prayers this week! Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have made it through without them. I love being able to rest in the peace that I have an army of prayer warriors around to world going to the Father on my behalf. So thank you for that. As far as how healing is going right now, I’m doing alright. I’m not in much pain and aside from having a love-hate relationship with my crutches (especially on the stairs), I’m doing great. Thanks again for all the prayers and, if I can ask, continue praying for speedy recovery!

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