Disclaimer. None of what you are about to read is real. Don’t get me wrong, it was a very real experience for me. But the following did not happen in real life. I’m thankful for the imagination God gives us and how He speaks to us through it.
It was a beautiful autumn afternoon. I walked along the wooded trail, orange maple leaves crunching with each step. Just off the trial was (for lack of a better word) a treehouse. It didn’t have a roof and was pretty rickety. You could tell it had been there for quite a few years. At least the log bridge connecting the treehouse to the trail had a new rope railing next to it. It made it feel safer as I walked across, the grassy hill pulling farther and farther away until I stood far above the ground, hand on the tree that supported the little fort around me. I took a deep breath and looked around, smiling at the bits of a crystal blue lake that could be seen through the thick pine forrest. If I swayed back and forth, it looked like a puddle of glitter as the sun danced across the gentle waves.
Finally. A moment of peace.
I sit on the lone bench – the only thing occupying the small platform besides me. I close my eyes for a minute and soak up the warm fall sunshine on my face and for one second feel my body completely relax. A feeling of true peace.
The tree begins to sway a bit, setting the whole treehouse in a slight rocking motion. I open my eyes and look up at the man walking across the bridge towards me. And all at once, He’s right in front of me and I’m staring into His eyes. I don’t recognize the face, but I know in my heart who it is. This is the moment I’ve been longing for. The moment when I can look into His eyes and ask the questions that burn in my heart each night. There’s a moment of silence and we just look at each other, breathing the same air. It’s a moment filled with peace and expectation. It’s the safest I’ve ever felt. The amount of love I can see in His eyes is intense and I almost look away. It’s overwhelming.
But instead of looking away, I put my hands on either side of his face and say the words that I’ve hidden in my heart for so long.
It’s almost painful to say them.
Why am I over there while You’re here? Why can’t I just be here with You? Why?
He mirrors my stance and reaches out His scarred hands to touch my face.
“I’m not stuck here.”
The response enters my heart like a whisper and the reality of what He said begins to hit me.
“I’m not just here.”
But… I know that… so why does it feel like that? And why am I over there?
And just like that, a rope swing appears from the middle of nowhere. In true Tarzan fashion, He wraps an arm under both of mine and jumps onto the rope, holding me close as we swing across space together.
Suddenly we’re at the top of a mountain. I know this mountain. I’ve spent countless hours skiing, laughing and enjoying life on this mountain.
“You’re here so I can teach you how much I love you,” He says.
Tears begin to fall as I start to understand.
“My love for you is deeper than the clearest lake and higher than the tallest mountain. And you’ve only begun to realize that! I want to show you more. So that’s why I’ve asked you to be here.”
“And you’re not alone. I didn’t abandon you. I’m with you wherever you go.”
“Let me teach you how great my love is for you.”
I open my eyes and look around. I’m still right where I was to begin with, in the middle of a lecture at YWAM Davos in Switzerland. I smile as I look out the window and see the mountains standing outside. That’s how great, I remind myself. His love is higher than the tallest mountain.